| Selfishness |
[Jan. 16th, 2009|03:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] | So after reading Gwen's posting this morning, I feel compelled to spill my guts.
Before I start bitching and whining, let me say that I love (most) of you. I love my Kingdom. I consider it an obligation to do the things I know need to get done for my friends, my household, and my Kingdom. If something needs to be done, and I have the skills to do it, I fell like I must.
But man, am I tired.
At this point I feel like I have just enough energy to do all the things I have committed to up to the first weekend in April. Then I have to, have to, get a little selfish.
So, if you win Crown List this Spring, and you aren't Seth and Gwen (close family), or Gareth (who did so much for me when I was a newbie), or Robert of Auk (who I owe a tunic for an Incident at Gulf Wars Last), or are Moradan (fighting for me) please, please don't ask me to head up Coronation garb for you. It is not that I don't love you as much as the other folks I've worked on, I'm just burned out. I realize I do feel an obligation to many of you, as you have helped me in many ways over the years. I wouldn't mind helping, but I can't do the planning again for a while. And if you do ask me, I will probably say 'yes,' because I am weak. I can't resist a personal plea. But for my sake, please spare me for the next couple of years.
If you have some really great idea for something arty, please pass me over for the next couple of years. I've just passed on the deputy position from the costume guild, which over the past 3 years has turned out Herald's tabards, RUM robes, and are starting on Sable Sword cloaks. For all of those projects, I have researched and bought materials, made patterns, and cut out all the pieces. I've even sewn a tabard, sewn 4 RUM robes and 8 of the hoods. I plan on sewing one of the Sable Sword cloaks. But then I need to be done for a while. Again, if you ask me, I will probably say 'yes,' because I am weak. I won't mind helping with projects, but I can't be in charge of anything for a while.
For the love of all that is holy, someone please take over leadership for Meridies of the Gulf Wars Open A & S Faire. I helped birth this baby, so I am very much in love with it, but my actual baby will start school next year, and who knows what my schedule will be like in the future with Spring Breaks and such. If I am at the War, I will certainly help with it, I will even donate to the prizes.
When I finish the projects I am working on for people I have traded with, I'm done for a while. I still have to finish things for Max, Alexander, Lyn, the guy at fettered cock, and I think someone I can't remember right now. I've had to put so many of these on hold when some of the above has had shorter deadlines, but I feel like I have a ton of stuff hanging over my head. This is part of why I want the above things to change.
What brought on this whining? Last night I was quickly trying to whip something up for this weekend. It is something that I've been wanting to make for a while, but I didn't get to spend much time thinking about it, or doing really nice finishing touches. For about the last 3 years, I've not had time to really dive wholly into a project- it has been get it done as fast as possible. Even some of the things that might appear to the observer as great, I know secretly is a major disappointment to me, like the recent Saxon dress. Over the years I've made some great stuff, mostly that I have given away, but haven't had time to do stuff for me, or David, or Rhys. Of course, I'm sure you've noticed that none of us has been naked, but everything has been so rushed. I only have one silk veil, and it is getting yellow and hole-y. I've make at least 20 over the years, but I've given them away. I have made several cool pouches, but I don't have one. I don't have anything that I've embroidered on. I don't have anything that I've done tablet weaving for except a 4" piece that I did to break in some wooden cards, and the hairpiece and net. I haven't even made what I wanted to sew it on. I've had so many plans for cool clothes for David that I haven't been able to finish.
Mainly, I'm feeling selfish about doing really cool things for me.
Sorry to whine, I just had to get it off my chest. |
|
|